Friday, February 11, 2011
I guess it has been about two weeks now since I resigned from my job. That's right, I am officially unemployed as a teacher of other people's children and am now a full time teacher of my own child. This was a really difficult decision for many reasons. Adam and I both agreed that, if at all possible, it would be best for me to stay home with Jack. At first, we didn't know if we could swing it financially so we sat down and really looked hard at our budget to see if me staying home was even a possibility. Once we decided that we could make it work on one income, Adam pretty much left it up to me to decide whether or not I wanted to go back to work. I have always felt like I was wired to be a mom and take care of my family so, naturally, I was leaning towards not going back. Adam and I had countless conversations on what I should do, and can we really make it work, and is it worth it to have a little extra money or to have time with our son, etc. Even as I drove to the school to resign I had doubts about my decision. Me, who was always so convinced that I wanted to stay home! I called Adam in the parking lot as well as my Mom just for validation that this was, in fact, the right decision. They both assured me that this was a good thing and so...I did it. Surprisingly, It was a bittersweet moment for me. More sweet than bitter, but still. I suppose it is hard closing the working chapter in my life-at least for now. I think it is hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that, although I am not contributing financially to our family anymore, I am contributing in other ways. In more important ways, I think. Right now I kind of feel like a man without a country. I am no longer a part of the working community and I feel like I am still in "orientation" at my new job as a mom. The transition has been more difficult than I thought but I have made a decision to embrace this new career, if you will, with gusto! One day, one prayer, and sometimes, one minute at a time.